Most people frame their considerations with self-interest first.  “What’s in it for me? ” may not be stated, but the question is there in their minds.  Self-interest, therefore is a lever that can be featured to influence some people.  Helping people to see how you can in some way meet their needs or advance their cause, reduces their resistance.  A former mentor of mine repeated this statement to me a hundred times, “whose your audience, what’s their motivation.”

It’s critical when influencing others to think your way inside the other person’s motivation to obtain a form of shared value.  Shared value, meaning it meets your objective and theirs.  If you are authentic in supporting and delivering on this shared value, the relationship and connection may continue.  If you are manipulative, you will likely have a one-and-done communication with the person.

“The shortest and best way to make your fortune is to let people see clearly that it is in their interests to promote yours.”  — Jean de La Bruyere —


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