Without regard of admiration, there is the unique opportunity to occasionally find a genuine affinity with another. There is little that will bring more value to us in life than to discover a person that you can truly identify with on a matter. It works to validate us, our mindfulness and our existence. You have seen them objectively and honestly as though they have shared something together with you before they did. If it weren’t mutual, the other will soon have gone away.

Affinity often comes as a surprise in a moment of mutual identification and understanding. It comes with an earnest belief that you would want to learn more of this person and with this person. It’s as though they are an accomplice of yours and you for them. It is less about admiration and more about an affinity to believe in what they believe in.

Affinity can be sought, but is rarely found. It is a gift to be discovered as we relate with one another while not inherently looking for it. It is a critical element of authentic friendships, but exists even before that friendship may begin.

“Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another: What! You too? I thought no one but myself…” — C.S. Lewis —


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